


Kitchen Fight

by CrimsonInk



Series: Iplier One-Shots [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Cute, Dorks, Fluff, Food Fight, Iplier Egos - Freeform, M/M, Wholesome, happy boys, no death here satan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonInk/pseuds/CrimsonInk
Summary: It was a normal day at the manor.Wilford was in the kitchen and backed some tasty goods when Ed Edgar, the egos' human trafficker, walked in with intentions on messing with the happy ego.It all ended in a messy yet fun food fight for all of them.May want to check in on them to make sure nobody choked on some cookie dough, hm?
Relationships: Wilford Warfstache/ Darkiplier
Series: Iplier One-Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004523
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Kitchen Fight

The scent of cinnamon and sugar filled the air of the Iplier Manor, a tray of cinnamon buns was cooling on the kitchen table, just a few feet away from where Wilford Warfstache stood. His joyful voice rang through the air as he sang along to the song Happy Pills by Weathers on the radio.

Wil was currently making the batter for his home-made chocolate muffins, that are basically muffins with extra cacao powder and chocolate mixed into it, when Ed Edgar stepped into the kitchen. He grinned when he saw the mad man in a light-yellow apron, singing and hips swaying.

"Hey there, Wilford! What cha doin' old boy?", he asked with a cocky grin, hands on his belt.

Wilford turned around, a surprised expression on his face that turned into the same cocky expression.

"Just baking, old man, and you? Sitting your ass off on the couch?"

Ed's grin abruptly faded and was replaced with a slight snarl. Wilford just smiled victoriously and turned back around, giving the batter all his attention. Ed just sat down on the small kitchen table and watched as the mad man enjoyed himself.   
After some time, Wilford already had his second tray of sweets cooling down, he began working on a vanilla cookie dough, enough to fill another two trays with his home-made treats. That's when an idea shot through Ed's brain, a brilliant idea that would be totally fun, or so he thought.

"Hey, Warfstache, can I help you with the dough?"

Wilford looked suspiciously over his shoulder but shrugged it off, nodding and waving the odd business man up to him. Ed quickly followed the gesture and stood beside the pink loving man, a sly smirk creeped on his lips and a mischievous spark lit up in his eyes. Almost unnoticeable behind his tinned sunglasses.

The moment, Wilford turned to the sink to wash his hands, was the moment Ed snapped and grabbed one of the two bowls with dough. As quickly as he could, he ran to the kitchen table and made a little barricade with three chairs. When the pink moustached man turned around, about to ask "What the hell are you doing, Ed?", the son-seller grabbed half a handful of dough and threw it at him. Wilford reacted quick and jumped behind the kitchen isle, a spatula in one of his hands as a defence weapon. Wilford snuck his head around the corner for a short moment when he was hit straight in the face.

"Ed...", Wilford calmly said as he whipped the dough off his face with his hand, "Do you really want to start a war?"

"You bet I wanna, pinky."

With that Wil grabbed the other bowl from the counter top in front of him. Without hesitation, he jumped up and threw a little lump of dough over the chair barricade and on top of Ed's head, who unfortunately had his hat in his room upstairs. Wil heard the other man cursing under his breath what made him only chuckle.

"Okay, that's it! FOOD FIGHT!", Ed proclaimed and stood as well, the dough smeared all over his hair.

The men starred at each other for a short amount of time before Wilford began to throw his munitions.

As they both took out their war, Bim trudged into the kitchen, minding his own business, and was hit from both the fighters.

"What the hell guys?! What are you doing?!", Bim exclaimed and tried to whip away the stains they created on his glasses, making it only worse.

"Out of the way, Bim!", Wilford shouted and threw another dough-ball at his opponent.

Bim quickly scatted out of the kitchen and into his room, walking past a confused Dr. Iplier. The doctor watched as Bim vanished behind his door with a loud slam and continued his way to the kitchen to grab his daily hot cup of coffee. Before he entered, he heard a few shouts but didn't think any of it as it was normal in this household.

"Hey, has anyone seen my-.", the doctor stopped mid-sentence as he saw the royal mess before him.

"Nope. Ight imma head out." He put his hands up in a gesture of defence and turned on his heel before skidding his way back into his office.   
\- - - -

Dark sat in his office chair, going through the usual paperwork, when a door was loudly slammed shut. A sigh of annoyance left his lips before he focused back on his work. About two minutes later another loud ' _bang!_ ' echoed through the manor, a loud "Nope!" following afterwards. Dark could only assume that it was the doctor, since he had his office basically next door to his.   
With another sigh Dark stood up and left his room, on the search of what caused all that trouble on a Monday afternoon. He walked down the hall and heard in the distant a not so manly screech. The demon neared its source and came to a stop at the kitchen, or rather what was left of it.

The sight was.. breath taking for a man of tidiness, just as Dark was:   
The walls were smeared with the cookie dough, most of the furniture as well. In Dark's view were both his love, Wilford, and Ed Edgar, both men coated in the cookie ingredients. Dark took in a deep breath as his aura flared up as he took in the scene.

"What in the living hell do you think you're doing?", Dark growled, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he stood in the door frame.

"Oh, Darky! Good that you're here, I need some assistance!", Wilford exclaimed, using the spatula as a catapult to throw a lump of flour and water at Ed who dodged it.

Dark just clenched his jaw and stood frozen in place, not even thinking about getting involved into this mess.

"Wil, I swear to god, if you don't stop this immediately I-", Dark was cut off when a red something rushed into the room, seeking refuge behind Ed's chair fortress. Before anyone could speak up, a few lumps of peanut butter flew through the air and hit its target.

"Good throw, King!", Ed cheered and high-fived his companion, snickering when Wil tried to get rid of the peanut butter on his face.

To all their surprise, a low chuckle echoed through the room. Their glances wandered to the dark entity in the door frame, one hand in front of his mouth to muffle his noises. The pink mad man only threw a playful glare at his boyfriend and collected as much dough and peanut butter from his face as possible. With a wide smirk Wil threw the sweet-sticky ball at Dark who couldn't react properly because of his fit of laughter. When he realized that he was actually _hit,_ he went silent and just smiled at his boyfriend.

"Justice is coming upon you, Wilford."

With that, Dark joined their war and had actually a bit fun, even though he would never admit it.

But oh did he know, Google was standing _the whole time_ in a corner of the living room, actually enjoying the view that he was given and recorded the whole damn thing, from the very beginning to the very end. 

Guess someone has enough footage now to blackmail a few egos.


End file.
